At times we all face rough patches in our lives. It could be a health crisis, the loss of a loved one, a divorce, or maybe we were just informed that our job was eliminated. These are significant life events that can result in a lot of stress for us and for our family. In many cases it is how we choose to respond to this life-changing event that will result in us being a victim or a victor. Which do you want to be?

It’s amazing how there are only 2 letters different in the ending of these words, ‘im’ and ‘or’, but there is a world of difference in how our response affects the quality of our life going forward. While we can’t be expected to bounce back immediately after experiencing a set-back, at some point with the help and support of family and friends we need to make a conscious decision to move forward. If we find that we can’t make the decision to move forward, then we are choosing to live the life of a victim. It is ultimately our choice.

Here’s one approach to become the victor you were meant to be. If you haven’t read a small, but powerful book called the present by Spencer Johnson, it’s a great place to start. This is a story which unfolds as an old man shares his views with a young man over the years about the present which you give yourself that can change your life for the better, if you so choose. This present can make you happy and successful, both at home and work. If you are curious and open to the possibility of changing your life for the better, read  the present. I’m sure that you can find it at your library and you will probably want to share it with others in your life.

We hear stories of people who conquer incredible odds. They may have lost limbs in combat, suffered a debilitating injury from an accident, or be dealing with a terminal illness, but they fight on. What is it that makes these individuals victors, rather than victims? In most cases it comes down to a simple decision to move on, grow, and make the most of what they have. Of course support from those around them is exceedingly important, but without a personal decision to persevere, they could become embittered victims. Rather than being an inspiration to themselves and those around them, they could become unhappy and reclusive. Just consider what Jaycee Lee Dugard endured – being molested and held captive for 18 years. She is a great example of choosing to be the victor of her situation and not remaining a victim for the rest of her life.

If you are dealing with a personal struggle, don’t go it alone. Find someone who has been through a similar situation, struggled, and then emerged as a victor. People love to share their successes with others. Constantly feeling sorry for yourself will get you attention, at least for a while, until those around you get tired of hearing your tale of woe, over and over. Choosing to be a victim or victor – it’s a decision that we each make in how we want to lead our lives.